I usually do these yearly wrap-ups to share my understanding of my world with the people around me I respect and care for. I have to be honest; I was very reluctant this year because I felt so unsure of myself. so I’m posting it here instead.
Dear you,
I am typically the person (depending on if you know me or not) to be full of energy and damn sure of myself. Still, I lost a lot of my magic this year: wildly unhealthy coping mechanisms and tyrannical inner voice.
How did I get my magic back? The reality is I didn't. I needed to comprehend that it wasn't coming back because that magic had become too old-fashioned that it had expired. Things can expire, and they must; otherwise, they taste awful.
It was a painful year for me but needed for growth, which spun me into a wheel of thought.
Two significant events left me crippled with thoughts.
1. A conversation with someone great who went through prison
2. Losing the kindest person I know to walk this earth
These events reminded me how precious this life we have is; I was too zoomed in that I forgot to zoom out. It propelled me to look into the mirror and face all the qualities I was not ready to greet—my self-righteousness, dishonesty to myself and being too judgmental toward others. I realised my characteristics and rejigged my strategies to become simply a more authentic version of myself; a better friend, girlfriend, colleague, student, family member, and a lifelong member of club de earth.